leaderboard test

heart broken.. :(

I know its been a long time and io know i ve been lost. lost in nothing. and i know very weel that it is not for the good. anyways here is something dat broke my heart yesterday. little did i know that tornedo warning from storm TV and chris's mail regarding shift for the day cld give me an insight into how my husbands lunch breaks become a disaster.
everytime he complains to his mother that i do some last minute 'arai kurai' cooking for his lunch box, all i knew was that either i get angry or frustrated coz all these 'cooking experiments' and 'new dishes' i try out go unrecognised. I woke up only yesterday. since his daily work time was changed to evening shift we sat together for lunch with lots of odd stuff to eat. the centre piece of the show is the 'thogayal sadham' dat i had packed for him in the morning. I had a difficult time eating it and i felt so guilty to even let him eat it. the rice so all packed and became a big bulk of 'pongal' which even refused to be broken into 'urundai' so that it can be eaten and i heard my husbands voice say this' it is always like this and sumtimes my throat even refuses to let this thing in'.
I asked him if it would be better if i mix proper kuzhambu with rice and pack it, only to get a reply "only worse". chapathis were out of option because i was there. sitting with the chapathi prepared in the morning and microwaved in the aft for lunch. I was there sitting and seeing the reality of how my husband's lunch breaks are only pathetic.
Consequence of this event: several searches for 'lunch' menu in all my cooking guru's sites.